Well, right now I am at school, first period, wasting my life away on this stupid computer. I can't help but think about the future, what else is new? I dyed my hair last night, I am trying to get it back to its natural color, and its noarmal length. I want it to get to like 1/2 way to 3/4 way down my back and then layer it. Growing out my side bangs I think, so then my hair will really be layered. I have an infatuation with long layered dark hair. Anyways, then the gym, yes, the gym. Sunday morning. Monday night, tuesday night, prolly not Wednesday, then Thursday. I need to make more of a commitment, for more energy, for a healthy lifestyle. I  think I am gunna end up living in a beach town being a holistic healer. It is a posssiblility. Anyways, night all, love you much

Love Ashley

Hello and good morning all!

New day, new realizations. I wonder if I will ever stop realizing new things about myself? I hope not... I was watching "What Women Want" with Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt and there was a part where Mel Gibson was missing Helen Hunt because they broke up and he immediately went over to his fridge to get some food, as soon as he opened his fridge door he said "What am I doing, she's not in here"... It made me think about how many times I, my friends, my family, and pretty much everyone else I know has turned to food to take away pain in some way. But really, that food is not going to help you, it is only going to give you a quick fix and make you feel worse in the long run. Like I said in my last entry, so many people do it with booze and other drugs too, if only everyone could just FACE whatever pain they are feeling, and move on from it, instead of finding a quick fix. That my friends would make the world a better place. I hope you all have a happy day, I hope you can eventually face your fears, and I hope you can conquer them. I am working very sucessfully in that direction...if I can, so can YOU

Love Ashley 

Life is interesting. Finding out who you really are is interesting. Trying to be real is interesting. The human mind is interesting. Psychology is beconing to me in more ways than one, I just hope I can fulfill my destiny.

 I got drunk this past weekend with some friends and I really don't know why I did. Idle hands are the devil's workshop I guess. I felt totally impared, out of control, wobbly, nausous (sp?), stupid, disgusting ...I will not be drinking for a very very long time. It is pointless, completely pointless. When all is said and done, if you can't be happy and/or need to run away from your problems by drinking, smoking, etc etc etc...then you need help. By turning to the bottle, smoking that blunt, whatever you do... you are crying a silent need of immediate help. I feel bad for those who are truely addicted, I have complete empathy.

I am done with P.E. for the rest of my life...finals are this week and my last day for dressing for P.E. was Tuesday, thank-God it is over, thank-God. No more being icky yuck at school, truely can't believe it is done, I am incredibly overjoyed! All my finals are easy, all is going well at school, things are falling slowly but surely into place.

My therapy is going well. Dr.Hagalis is very intelligent and has taught me many many things in the two months or so that I have been seeing him. For all of you out there who are in need of help but don't want to go see a "shrink", wake-up, that "shrink" can be your saving grace. It sure has been that way for me. I am a caretaking, co-dependent, trying to heal my child within. Mouthful yes, but I am absolutely thrilled to finally admit to what I am, and to be in the process of helping myself live up to my full potential. So many things I have going for myself right now, I am so blessed.

I wish all of you well with whatever struggles you may be facing...If you would like support, advice, someone to talk too, whatever, please leave me a comment saying so :) Have a lovely day!

Love Ashley

P.S.- "Healing the Child Within" by Charles Whitfield is a very good healing book, I suggest it to everyone.

Well,

I guess my plans for the future are always new and blossoming... This is the whole truth and nothing but the truth for how my days go. I make people feel better, it is hard to explain. Every day I help at least one person, maybe I am just a philanthropist. I talk to people, get to know them, help them. I know who I will be friends with before I am friends with them. I know whose lives I will touch before I touch them. I am different and I know it. I sit back in my classes and analyze people...the way they walk, the way they act around others, how they sit, how they write, how they speak, their mannerisms. I can tell who has a beautiful soul and who doesn't. I look down on those who don't help themselves and who let their problems interfere with how they treat others. I am a visionary soul. I see things that no one else sees. It is a gift, I am sure of it. I just have to use it the right way. I don't think there are many of me out there. 99% of the time I do the right thing. I have a sincere conscience. I am a good writer. I help people love themselves. Throughout my struggles, I have learned how to read people, listen to people, interact with people, grow up, help people. Maybe I am a reincarnation of Mother Tereasa? :) I don't know, I don't mean to freak anyone out. I am just different, I know that I am different. I am real. What you see is what you get. I am not perfect, and I let others know that there is no such thing as perfection. All of my struggles have helped me become a much better person, thank-God for that!

I love you all...

Ashley

Hello all,

No I havn't died or fallen of the side of the earth, I have just been busy to the brink. I love you all and I hope each and every one of you had a safe and above all, happy, holiday season! Welcome 2005!

Prayer for the new year...

"God please Bless this new year. Please help it to bring joy, love, peace, safety, good-health, happiness, and new and adventurous possiblilities to my life and to the life of every single person on this earth. Please Bless the war and the president...help there to be peace. Por favor, quiero un ano nuevo prospero! Te Amo Dios y Jesus!...Ashley"

Remember all, each new year, each new day, gives us a clean state! Full of new possibilities! New starts! New Beginnings! Smile :)

Love Ashley